Thursday, September 23, 2010

100 Worst Songs Ever

Don't count em out yet - AOL is still hanging in. Matthew Wilkening from AOL's Radioblog has a terrific list of the 100 Worst Songs Ever. It was to my surprise when I saw Starship's "We Built this City" ranked at number 22. My understanding was there was an unwritten code among listmakers that this song was to forever occupy the number one position. Are there really 21 songs worse than this one?


21 - "One Week" Barenaked Ladies

Writer makes a good point noting the smugness of the song's too cutesy wordplay. This could have been a great song without the white rapping.

20 - "What's Up" 4 Non Blondes

Like the previous entry, this tune isn't that bad. It just has that one annoying quality about it (in this case the screeching) that heavily distracts from what could have been a good song.

19 - "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" Will Smith
18 - "Achy Breaky Heart" Billy Ray Cyrus
17 - "MMMBop" Hanson

Corporate cash-ins using the most banal and generic sounding music possible in the respective fields of hip-hop, country, and pop. Their inclusion is warranted.

16 - "Hollaback Girl" Gwen Stefani

Sure the Grrrlpop sound can get a little irksome after a while, but this is a fine pop hit. Calling this the 16th 'worst song ever' smacks of bubblegum bigotry.

15 - "Rico Suave" Gerardo

Should have been higher.

14 - "Convoy" C.W. McCall

A popular pick - one of the funniest non-novelty songs ever.

13 - "With Arms Wide Open" Creed

If this song was done by any other band it would be nowhere near this list. It's Creed that is disliked, this just happens to be their signature song.

12 - "Wannabe" Spice Girls

See 16.

11 - "My Heart Will Go On" Celine Dion

An overbearing and intrusive vocalist whose songs are always tainted with a fake emotional bombast. The female counterpart to Creed.

10 - "Macarena" Los Del Rio

The first song I've seen thus far that truly challenges the law of Starship. It might not have been so bad if it wasn't for the awful dance that will be forever associated with it.

9 - "Ebony and Ivory" Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder

A lame song to be sure, but its high positioning has more to do with hype disappointment. Two of pop history's finest singer-songwriters and this was the best they could do?

8 - "I'm Too Sexy" Right Said Fred

Another dumb club hit, fair enough.

7 - "I Am Woman" Helen Reddy

More boring than bad. It sounds like a rejected theme song for Rhoda or Mary Tyler Moore.

6 - "U Can't Touch This" MC Hammer
3 - "Ice Ice Baby" Vanilla Ice

Making really bad songs from really great riffs only exacerbates the situation.

5 - "Barbie Girl" Aqua

Terrible songs from Anglo countries are one thing, but when imported from Europe, the odium doubles.

4 - "She Bangs" Ricky Martin

Not sure putting a song here was even necessary, the name says enough.

2 - "Who Let the Dogs Out?" Baha Men

Winning a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award for the same song is just not right.

1 - "(It's Time to) Beat Dat Beat" DJ Pauly D

Not only is this song way too new to be the 'worst song ever,' most people don't watch Jersey Shore nor would they have heard this song. A terrible pick.


There are some great selections on the rest of the list, many one-hit wonders and forgotten bands. The author has clearly done his research, but I'm not sure I can get over the pro-Starship bias.

1 Comments:

Blogger oceanwhale said...

: ))))

10/05/2010 12:05 AM  

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